.i.

.am.

 .happy.

Two. Three.. The dreaded.

It's been ages since I last wrote, I know.

I guess I could apologize.. or tell you the dreary winter got the best of me.

But the real reason is because I had no where to go after my last post.

Ya see that one, down there, under this one..

it created a lot of controversy.

I was praised for it and hated for it.

And not just by family members, per usual.. but by complete strangers.

It was all very new.

So I have racked my mind thinking of an equally opinionated and controversial topic I could rant about,

but I couldn't.

So I won't.

Instead, I'm gonna talk about something that everyone experiences every year.

Birthdays.

Boring, right?

Well not this year, not for me.

Now, let me preference this post by saying I am a Mormon,

I believe this.

Truly, madly, deeply I believe.

(Feel free to lift up my hair(real and fake) to search for my horns.. Promise you won't find them)

Now in exactly 43 days, I will be 23 years old.

There is a stigma in Utah, possibly an unwritten rule.. it seems to be known by all young LDS girls as they leave high school, bright eyed and worry free that they are now hunters.

The time has come to track down and capture their soul mate.

(It sounds a bit like the hunger games.. "May the odds be ever in your favor.")

And if you are about to reach your 23 birthday and you haven't roped your forever and always you have a few options..

Mission,

more schooling,

or leave Utah.

I am doing none of the above.

I remember sitting at the very first farewell of one of my friends,

all cute and naive in my too tight shade shirt and cherubic face(it took me a while to lose my baby fat)

thinking,

"Goodbye forever, because I will most likely be married to the man of my dreams by the time you get back, I may even have a child."

ha ha ha 

bless my poor, little heart. 

I don't know if I could possibly count how many times I have been asked,

"So.. what are you looking for exactly?"

I usually look at the inquirer with a furrowed brow and my head cocked a bit to the right for a moment, until I realize what they mean..

cause the answer that always comes up in my head is food.. I'm looking for food..

OH MEN.. what am I looking for in a man..

got it, got it.

I usually give them a basic, run of the mill answer.

But wanna know the truth?

I want to find MY man.

A man who is my foundation and my penthouse.

A man who will march me down to that gorgeous white castle and promise me forever, and ever.

Someone to laugh with,

cry with,

take naps with,

baths with,

stumble with,

have babies with,

and take on this nasty, scary world head on with.

That is what I am looking for, and that will happen exactly when it is supposed to.

So come on you dreaded twenty third,

show me what living is about.

xx,

m.

Illusions

Let's talk about them.

it's honesty hour right here on this Sunday afternoon. 

In this day and age it is sooooo easy to.. 

enhance yourself.

and if you're not looking to actually do anything to yourself per say.. there is a filter for that.

And now lets be honest, I am not exempt from this. 

Oh no.. in fact, I'm probably one of the worst offenders. 

Take 20 pictures of virtually the same pose

pick the one you like the most

edit the crap out of it

have your friend look at it

edit some more

crop it just right

figure out the most original caption and if you cant think of one, stick with song lyrics

and then POST.

and wait....

flip your phone upside down so you won't check it.. 

check it..

put it back down

check it again.

But guess what?

None of it is real.

Life doesn't happen picture to picture.

Life is what happens in between pictures.

I feel like we are all so wrapped up in our social media worlds.

We have friends on social networks that we never actually speak to or even look at in real life.

We spend ridiculous amounts of time thinking up 140 characters to tweet.

We spend hours primping for a single photo.

So, I have a serious question..

How many people know you?

I mean TRULY know YOU

The sweatpants, no make up, greasy hair, unbrushed teeth, chipped nails, pounding a non diet soda while fused to your couch, you.

Off of the top of my head, I can name 15. 

Now lets compare that..

As of this moment I have 

938 instagram followers..

423 twitter followers..

376 Pinterest followers..

and 84 Vine followers.

And I can only name 15 who actually know the real me..

But for the most part, the majority of them will never know me.

And I was thinking how guilty I feel sometimes.. tricking people into thinking I am way cooler than I actually am.

SOOO to get to the point of this rambling, I'm going to give you all a glimpse in to my seemingly glamorous lifestyle.

I work. Every damn day.

At a desk, answering phone calls, and running social media.

It is the opposite of fun or exciting, but it's a job.

The majority of my nights are spent not at parties,

but at my house.. in my flannel pants, fuzzy socks, a boys oversized shirt and my glasses on.

Either stalking tumblr or watching a Disney Channel Original Movie.

Usually, I'm asleep by 11.

I wear a retainer to bed.

My childhood stuffed Toucan is tucked ever so tenderly in one of the corners of my bed frame.

I'm just boring, for the most part. and I loveeeeeeee it! 

But you'll never see that on the gram, or tweet book, or Vine.

Because that's just the way the world works.

So to make myself feel less guilty for lying to you all,

here are some of the big secrets,

and this doesn't just go for me this goes for a lot of girls!

I'm probably going to be shunned from girl world for a while for sharing these things but there are some tricks.. tricks that make all girls look better.

We are master illusionists, 

ready?

(Also, feel free to judge my pictures. I'm judging them myself.)

 SURPRISE!!!

My long, luscious locks.. yup, they're fake.

Fake, fake, fake.

I got them a year ago for fun and I love them.

My real hair is about mid boob, my fake hair is about mid tummy. 

Sorry for fooling you. 

It feels so good getting that off my chest.

 Also, my hair is fine. So I hair spray it to make it so big.

 My teeth?

Oh yeah, they are totally naturally this white.

NOT.

(Wait, how awesome is this outfit? welcome to my life)

 When girls take this kind of picture,

Butt out, chest out, hand on waist.

They are trying to say..

"Look, I have curves.. but am also like, super skinny, wanna date?"

As well, the slight angle of the body makes us look skinnier in photos.

Tricked ya.

This picture is easily the hardest one to accomplish correctly.

It's the chic-yet-cute-yet-sassy-lookathowskinnyIambecausemyheadlooksbiggerthanmybody pose.

Butt out to give you a huge thigh gap,

arms as close together as possible to still look natural so your shoulders appear less broad,

slight head tilt to get your good side,

and the pucker lips to suck in your double chin and make you look like you have a super defined jawline.

Kudos to the girls who can actually pull this off.. Impressive.

So, here you have it folks.

There is the not so glamorous look into my life.

And I apologize for the weird ramblings in there, but I'm too lazy to take them out.

And a glimpse into the world of girls photos.

Sorry for ruining the mystery.

But I just couldn't lie any longer.

Phew, now if you'll excuse me.. I'm going to go take a few mirror pics.

ok, bye.

xx,

m.

Who here has seen Practical Magic?

(Cue the girl raising her hand emoji)

I love that movie.

So much, it's ridiculous.

I remember curling up on the couch in my sweats, with a giant blanket over me and my sister while she tried to stick her freezing cold, boney feet underneath my thighs. And if I would protest having her feet there she would give me these huge puppy dog eyes and say, "Noooo, Megannnnn. Pleaseeeee. You're just so warmmmmmm."

She would do it in this whine/sing.

and I would always give her a dirty look and say, "Ugh, fine."

Once we got all nustled down, we'd giggle, sing, scream, and feel triumphant.

I would sit there and think to myself how cool it would be to have a best friend like Sally,

cause lets face it, I am definitely more like the saucy red head.

But then I realized, I do.

My sister is to me, what Sally is to Gillian.

She has always been there for me, and we have, and always will be best friends.

Even if we hate each other, we still love each other.

She's been my protector and confidant for nearly 23 years.

And in turn, she knows that if she ever needed me I would be on the first plane, train, boat or camel back to get to her.

She turns 25 today and oh how the years have flown.

We've seen and done so much together,

and I wouldn't trade any of those memories for all the money in the world.

So here's to you, Elizabeth June!

How I love you so, and hope you have the most amazing day ever.

It's always comforting to know, if I make a poor decision by falling in love with a psycho that my sister would kill him, help me bring him back to life and then kill him for me again...
That's love.


xx,
m.

So the Justin Bieber concert was this last Saturday.

How was it y'all?

I heard it was full of crotch grabs and thrusting at 12 year old girls.. classy JB, real classy.

So in honor of him being in town, and grown women crying..

I decided to post One Directions new music video.

Please feel free to compare and contrast, hopefully you will all see..

One Direction>>>Justin Bieber

xx,

m.

Today I want to talk about the "L" word.

Yes, that word that makes everyone twerk out..

LOVE.

Easily my favorite word in any language.

And for those of you who know me you are aware that I love to throw out the word love.

I love that computer mouse,

I love the way those stripes look on that sweater,

Did you see that YouTube video? I loved it,

I love the way your hair is laying today.

But not only do I love inadament objects, but I also love people.

gasp.

Imagine that.

The other night I was talking with a friend who is a solid Tier 2, but closely approaching a Tier 3.

We were sharing our thoughts on love, and I was explaining that, to me, there is not just one kind of love.

There is no wrong or right way to love.

But rather, there are different tiers of love.

They go as follows, but are certainly not limited and are flexible to change.

Tier 1: 

This is the earliest stage of love. Usually reserved for new acquaintances and friends who have just come into your life, but whom you connect with. You enjoy spending time with them, they generally make you laugh and by the end of the day, they don't drive you insane. Although they may be new to your life, you're pretty confident that you could handle going on a short road trip with them AND even share your crazy cores skittles with.. now that's love.

Tier 2:

This tier is for your close friends, maybe not the friends you see and talk to everyday but you know if you were somewhere stuck between a rock and a hard place they would come help, without asking too many questions. And if you don't see them for 20 years, but you run into them in a grocery store somewhere you'd be able to pick up right where you left off without any awkwardness..'tis a gift.

As well, this tier includes those boys or girls who you have a connection with, you most likely have some feelings for them and you reallllllly wouldn't mind kissing their face from time to time. Not to mention, you care about their happiness and you'd probably do just about anything to make them happy.

Tier 3:

This one is for your very best friends the people you simply can't go a day without talking to. It's as if your souls were connected, their joy is your joy, their pain is your pain. You get them and they, for some miraculous reason, understand you perfectly. You know, those times where you are trying to explain something and people look at you with those semi squinty eyes and you know they are judging and trying to figure out if what you just said was in the english language and you just roll your eyes and think "if so and so were here THEY would get what I am saying, idiots."

This is also where THOSE people live.. you know, the special ones. That boy or girl who you could spend hours/days/weeks with and never get sick of. The ones you wanna look good for, but also love hanging out in sweats with. I think you get where I am going with this.. they live here.

Tier 4:

This is reserved for your family. They hold a different kind of love, you may not agree on everything, you may fight, you may even hate them from time to time, but in the end they are your family and you love them with your whole self. You can fight it all you want, but deep down you know you couldn't live without them.

Tier 5:

This is for "the one." You're one and only resides here, happily. This is the person you choose to spend forever with. Unlike the family you were born into and have no choice but to love, this person YOU get to CHOOSE. So choose wisely, cause not only will you be sharing your crazy cores skittles, you'll be sharing everything and you'll actually enjoy it. They'll be your all time, your heart and soul, you're best friend. The deepest love.

Now, you don't have to agree with these tiers..

this is just my perspective of love.

You can create your own guidelines, that's the fun of it.. isn't it?

Love shouldn't be scary.. love shouldn't lose some kind of weird power if you say it too often..love shouldn't add stress.

Life would be a sad place without love, it should bring you joy, laughter, excitement.

it's easily the closest thing we have to magic..

so why not enjoy it?

T`estimo

Ma armastan sind

Mahal kita

Je t`aime

Ich liebe dich

 S`agapau

Aloha wau ia oi

Ti amo

Sarang heyo

Eu tea mo

Te ubesk

Ya tebya liubliu

Jeg elsker dek

Te quiero

-m.



 I read a lot of blogs.

Blogs of girls who seem to be perfect.

Like it's sickening.

And they always share their tips and tricks to being beautiful.

But they are always soooo complicatedddd.

I read them and think

"I'm totally going to do that."

But then I think

"Who has time for that crap?"

So, I decided to make my own beauty list.

And boy, do these things work wonders on me and the best part, they are all $18 or less and don't take longer than 10 minutes.

Here we go:

BIOTIN

First and foremost.

This is an all natural vitamin that works wonders.

makes your hair smoother, nails stronger, skin glow, boost metabolism, and is good for your nervous system.

I have been using it for under a year now and I'll never stop.

I buy mine at Whole Foods, and I get the Swanson brand, high potency 10mg.

It comes with 120 caps and I just take one a day.

It'll change your life, promise.

NEOSPORIN

Now, I have been blessed with pretty good skin.

(thanks mom and dad)

But there are times when my skin freaks out, and in turn I freak out!

I'm a cronic picker and popper so blemishes tend to stay longer than I'd like.

So to make them go away, once I've finished going to town on my face I dab Neosporin on the blemish and usually leave it there over night.

It makes it dissappear so much faster and you aren't left with a nasty scab afterwards!

COLD WATER

Now, if you are anything like me you enjoy a long, steaming hot shower.

There is nothing better.

So when I went to my friend Lauren(she does my hair) and asked her how to fix split ends, one of the things she suggested was just before I get out of the shower to turn the water on cold and stick my heads under to close the hair follicles.

I tried it a few times, and couldn't stand being so cold when I got out of the shower!

I'm a baby.

So instead, once I got out of the shower and before I would brush through my hair,

 I would fill the sink up with ice cold water and dip my hair into it.

That way, my body would stay warmmmm.

I've been doing it for a month now and have honestly noticed a difference in my hair.

It's smoother, shinier and breaks off a lot less.

LISTERINE WHITENING MOUTH WASH

yesterday I went to the Dentist for the first time in over a year..

whoops.

So I was really nervous.

But the lady cleaning my teeth just kept on raving about how clean my mouth was, and how it was one of the cleanest mouths she has ever seen.

(hey boys, did you hear that? Clean mouth over here!)

Anyway, I am pretty anal about my mouth but I just use a regular old toothbrush (one you buy from a grocery store, not one of those fancy electric ones) first, then I floss and I top it off with swishing my mouth out

with Listerine Whitening mouth wash.

And I promise, this is why my teeth are so clean.

It bubbles and fizzes and just gets all that gunk out of your teeth!

It's amazing.

(also proud to report, I am still cavity free.)

MAYBELLINE MASCARA

I don't know what it is, but people think that if a mascara is expensive it automatically makes it amazing.

False.

And if you honestly spend $70 on mascara then you can go shave your back now.

I've been using grocery store mascara since I was twelve and I love it!

Two summers ago I tried the whole fake lashes trend, and I'll be honest.. it was nice.

But when I decided to go back au naturale I had peach fuzz where once there were thick lashes.

It was awful!

(Cue Biotin)

So I went on a hunt for the best mascara and found that the Maybelline "Great Lash Big" and "Volum Express, the Colossal." (yeah, there is no E on the end of Volum.. I don't know why)

They both make my lashes look super long and super thick!

Mascara Sidenote:

How many of you hate when it's late at night, you're with a cute boy and your mascara starts flaking off? or you get home and it looks like you got punched in both eyes?

Well, fear no more.

I have come up with a concoction!

Everyday, yes.. everyday after I have applied my normal mascara and let it dry I add two or three swipes of water proof mascara on my top and bottom lashes.

It holds everything in place and won't come off until you want it to!

All it takes is hot water and soap, not even make up remover is needed.

It'll change your life.

And last but most certainly not least.. but for the sake of this post it has to be last.

DRINK LOTS OF WATER.

Now I know soda is amazingly delicious, and I'm not saying cut it out of your diet.

But what I am saying is drink twice as much water as you do soda.

Cause who wants the ponchy belly, love handles, cellulite and double chin that is caused by soda?

Not me.

So, if you won't cut it out.. at least compensate by hydrating the crap out of your body.

It will thank you!

Because like Derek Zoolander said, "Water is the essence of beauty."

xx, my lovelies.

m.

Never go to Dee's.

My stomach feels like it's shriveling into a pickled jellyfish.

It.is.horrible.

Just don't do it.

Also,

I have come up with something interesting.. well actually I have known it for a while, I'm sure.

I'm weird.

Strange, very strange.

I can be the worst homebody you've ever met, and then at times all I want to do is be social.

If I don't like something, I won't like something.(even if everyone else loves it)

If I love something, I'm gonna love it.(even if everyone else hates it)

I rarely show my entire face in my instagram photos.

My tweets never make sense.

I quote movies like Little Women, Pride and Prejudice and Gone With The Wind.

I love to write.

I would ideally wear a Christmas sweater during the entire month of December.

I love pickles and tomatoes.

I enjoy both Lil Wayne and Mumford & Sons.

My style never makes sense.

I never stopped blogging because it "wasn't cool anymore."

And I don't let anyone dictate the way I live my life.

Ya wanna know what?

I love being weird.

So I think I'm going to stay this way.

I also wish that more people would discover their inner weirdo and embrace it.

It would make life really fun.

So whadya say?

Let's all be individual and proud.

There was also no point to this post..

xx,

m.



I don't know what is happening,

I really don't.

Maybe my pheromones are off the charts,

or maybe someone is playing a sick joke on me.

But whatever it is, it has got to stop!

I'm sure y'all are like, "Megan, what in the sam hill are you talking about?"

Let me explain.

The last couple of weeks it is as though all of the boys from my past are resurfacing.

All wanting to see me, hang out, catch up, grab some hot chocolate, discuss our soon to be nuptials.

Ok, maybe not the last part.. but then again, maybe the last part?

It's is all very strange, and rocking my world a little bit.. Imma be honest.

Everytime a new text comes in I shake my head and just think.. "What in the?"

Now, let me explain something.

I know this is old news to some of you, but for those who don't know..

 I am a huge flirt.

"yeah, yeah that's not really a surprise."

No.

I mean I shamelessly flirt with EVERYONE.

But not just because I am trying to be cute or attract some mens, it's simply how I am programmed..

A semi cute, possibly 16 year old at the DMV.. flirt.

Soccer mom asking me where I got my shirt.. check.

President of the University.. you betcha.

Guy fixing the crack in my window.. sure.

Girl who posted a pretty pic on her insta.. absolutely.

So because of this chronic disposition to flirt, I have dated my fair share of interesting men.

If you lined up every guy I have ever been interested in, you would think I am a skitso...

No, really.

No two guys are that much alike, although they may have some similarities, they are all still worlds apart.

And individually, they have all been manageable and pleasant to be around, I love each and everyone one of them for opening my eyes to new and exciting experiences whilst teaching me mannnnny a lesson.

But would you want to combine all that energy into a few weeks?

No, no I submit that you would not.

"Duh,Why is she complaining about having boys wanting to hang out with her?"

I know, I sound like a spoiled rotten prude, but just hear me out.

Boys get in my head.

There I said it, out in the open.

I'm not as strong and stone cold as I may seem when it comes to the male gender.

Things they say or do get stuck in my mind and won't leave, especially if I like them a lot.

Hell, I'm still thinking about the flippant comment a boy made back in May about me going to the gym..brat.

I'm not rubber all the time, sometimes I'm that sticky, horrible glue.

So when all of the boys I've ever had at least lukewarm feelings for decide to crack open that tenderly closed door to our relationship.. I kinda want to scream, throw my phone in an ice box, and watch countless hours of Ellen.

It's exhausting.

I mean, there is a reason things didn't work out the first time, right? So why are we trying for the second?

(or maybe even third or fourth, I forgive too easily sometimes. Especially when a boys deep baby blues and pearly whites are twinkling at me, I melt)

Maybe I am supposed to be learning something from all of this..

I'm sure I am.

As of right now I have no idea what it might be, but I'm sure hoping the sunshine breaks through the clouds soon to shed some light on ridiculous situation.

If not, I might end up in a rubber room.. ok, dramatic.

But I will need extensive amounts of Ben and Jerrys Cherry Garcia Fro-yo to keep my head above water.

Mmm that sounds really good.
So in the brilliant words of her majesty.. we are never, ever, ever getting back together.. like ever.

Sorry for whingin.

xx my lovelies,

m.

What to write, what to write..

I feel like I have been lacking a little on my postings lately by simply putting up videos.

It's the easy way out.

Whoops, sorry.

There have been a couple of things on my mind this morning,

and they are very random.

Which I guess they should be at 7am.

like,

why are my lips so perfectly puffy when I cry and early in the morning? Why can't they just be like that all the time?

is there someone else on this earth that spills water on themselves more than me? cause if so, I feel bad for them.

how can Pluto not be considered a planet? as well, who remembers planet X? whatever happened to it?

how can I feel so young but so old at the same time? it's weird.

How strange the places my mind takes me in the morning..

On another note, a little while ago.. not quite sure when, early summer I believe?

 I decided to put up glowy stars above my bed.

But I didn't just hastily stick them there, oh no.

With tender, loving care I placed each individual star into a different constellation.

Each having some significance in my life.

And honestly, it's my favorite part of my room.

(along with my big, beautiful bed/bedframe)

Falling asleep every night to the soft glow of my favorite constellations could not make me more giddy.

Every time I crawl into bed and turn off my light it's magical.

I simply love it.

Also,

this is the witching week.

I love this holiday.

But I am a little bummed.

I was soooo excited because the costume I was preparing was perfection.

I was patting myself on the back for being so clever.

And then.. I saw my costume on instagram.

How sad, but at the same time I am nearly convinced that this person and I share the same mind.

So I suppose I can't be too upset.

Looks like Jerry might just be creepin again on all hallows eve.

that's all for today lovelies.

xx,

m.