8460.3

I met him when I was sixteen. 

Head to toe in cheerleading garb, I tripped on my own feet when I saw him.

Tall, blonde, blue eyed perfection.

I knew he was going to change my life.

And he did, in ways I never thought possible. 

Everything about him was new and different, infectious.

I craved his adorable accent, melted when he shot me that smile that was just meant for me, and got high off of his scent.

We would walk and talk for hours about nothing and everything,

fall asleep in each others arms,

watch sunsets,

chase sunrises,

etch every detail of each others faces into our minds

laugh, sing, dance, cry, kiss. A lot.

Everything was heightened and in hyper speed whenever I was with him, I never knew how long it would last..

3 days..

a week..

a month..

and then he would be gone, and I would be left wondering if it was all a dream.

8460.3 miles of heartache.

Six years of Facebook chat, text message, skype, imessage, FaceTime.

Excited trips to the airport when I would be picked up, spun and kissed. We'd be one.

Depressing trips to the airport where I would be held, kissed and left alone in tears as he walked out of my life again.

My soul was tethered to his.

I could focus enough in a sleepy daze to nearly have him with me, laughing at the way I twitch or telling me how beautiful I was when my face was swollen with exhaustion.

My nose would burn from a passing stranger because their smell resembled his.

And on occasion I would take walks by myself, just to let the memories flood back.

Our situation was impossible.

We talked about it working out,

our futures together...

here,

there.

How it would work.

I had so much faith for the longest time.

maybe, just maybe this could happen.

I was in love with him.

Last week was the same.

Picked up, spun, kissed.

Walked, held, slept.

laughed, sung, danced, cried, and kissed. A lot.

Then I did something I never thought I would.

I said goodbye.

I walked away from something I never thought I would.

This boy, 

this perfectly handsome, charming, adventurous, best friend of mine.

This boy,

who opened my eyes to so many wondrous things.

This boy,

who made me feel like no one had ever made me feel.

I cried as we sat on the same porch we had sat on so many times before,

I cried as we walked across the lawn we had wrestled on, star gazed from, and danced so often.

And I cried when he held me by my car, kissed me for the last time, and walked out of my life again.

But this time, forever.

He will always be here with me,

tethered to my soul,

my heart and my memories.

Forever.

And he knows that.

yours,

m.