..Laugh as much as you choose,but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.. -Pride and Prejudice

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Illusions
Let's talk about them.
it's honesty hour right here on this Sunday afternoon. 
In this day and age it is sooooo easy to.. 
enhance yourself.
and if you're not looking to actually do anything to yourself per say.. there is a filter for that.
And now lets be honest, I am not exempt from this. 
Oh no.. in fact, I'm probably one of the worst offenders. 
Take 20 pictures of virtually the same pose
pick the one you like the most
edit the crap out of it
have your friend look at it
edit some more
crop it just right
figure out the most original caption and if you cant think of one, stick with song lyrics
and then POST.
and wait....
flip your phone upside down so you won't check it.. 
check it..
put it back down
check it again.

But guess what?

None of it is real.
Life doesn't happen picture to picture.
Life is what happens in between pictures.
I feel like we are all so wrapped up in our social media worlds.
We have friends on social networks that we never actually speak to or even look at in real life.
We spend ridiculous amounts of time thinking up 140 characters to tweet.
We spend hours primping for a single photo.

So, I have a serious question..
How many people know you?
I mean TRULY know YOU
The sweatpants, no make up, greasy hair, unbrushed teeth, chipped nails, pounding a non diet soda while fused to your couch, you.
Off of the top of my head, I can name 15. 
Now lets compare that..
As of this moment I have 
938 instagram followers..
423 twitter followers..
376 Pinterest followers..
and 84 Vine followers.

And I can only name 15 who actually know the real me..
But for the most part, the majority of them will never know me.
And I was thinking how guilty I feel sometimes.. tricking people into thinking I am way cooler than I actually am.
SOOO to get to the point of this rambling, I'm going to give you all a glimpse in to my seemingly glamorous lifestyle.

I work. Every damn day.
At a desk, answering phone calls, and running social media.
It is the opposite of fun or exciting, but it's a job.
The majority of my nights are spent not at parties,
but at my house.. in my flannel pants, fuzzy socks, a boys oversized shirt and my glasses on.
Either stalking tumblr or watching a Disney Channel Original Movie.
Usually, I'm asleep by 11.
I wear a retainer to bed.
My childhood stuffed Toucan is tucked ever so tenderly in one of the corners of my bed frame.
I'm just boring, for the most part. and I loveeeeeeee it! 
But you'll never see that on the gram, or tweet book, or Vine.
Because that's just the way the world works.
So to make myself feel less guilty for lying to you all,
here are some of the big secrets,
and this doesn't just go for me this goes for a lot of girls!
I'm probably going to be shunned from girl world for a while for sharing these things but there are some tricks.. tricks that make all girls look better.
We are master illusionists, 
ready?
(Also, feel free to judge my pictures. I'm judging them myself.)
 SURPRISE!!!
My long, luscious locks.. yup, they're fake.
Fake, fake, fake.
I got them a year ago for fun and I love them.
My real hair is about mid boob, my fake hair is about mid tummy. 
Sorry for fooling you. 
It feels so good getting that off my chest.
 Also, my hair is fine. So I hair spray it to make it so big.
 My teeth?
Oh yeah, they are totally naturally this white.
NOT.
(Wait, how awesome is this outfit? welcome to my life)
 When girls take this kind of picture,
Butt out, chest out, hand on waist.
They are trying to say..
"Look, I have curves.. but am also like, super skinny, wanna date?"
As well, the slight angle of the body makes us look skinnier in photos.
Tricked ya.
This picture is easily the hardest one to accomplish correctly.
It's the chic-yet-cute-yet-sassy-lookathowskinnyIambecausemyheadlooksbiggerthanmybody pose.
Butt out to give you a huge thigh gap,
arms as close together as possible to still look natural so your shoulders appear less broad,
slight head tilt to get your good side,
and the pucker lips to suck in your double chin and make you look like you have a super defined jawline.
Kudos to the girls who can actually pull this off.. Impressive.


So, here you have it folks.
There is the not so glamorous look into my life.
And I apologize for the weird ramblings in there, but I'm too lazy to take them out.
And a glimpse into the world of girls photos.
Sorry for ruining the mystery.
But I just couldn't lie any longer.

Phew, now if you'll excuse me.. I'm going to go take a few mirror pics.
ok, bye.


xx,
m.

17 comments:

  1. Well here I go using social media, but thank you for being real. I never knew you on a personal level but I was intimidated by you. You are so gorgeous and seem so cool. I love this post so much, you are very street smart. Makes me feel better about myself that you are just normal too. Although even this pictures are so pretty. How do you do you eyebrows?

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  2. literally best blog post I have ever read. i wanna share it with everyone!

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  3. BEST BLOG POST I HAVE EVER READ! haha you are darling and spot on! xox

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  4. HELL YES MEGAN FREAKKNG WELCH. THIS POST MADE ME LOVE YOU 10x more.


    I love fake hair:)

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Well my first comment was deleted so I guess I'll repost it.

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  7. This blog reflects being desperate for social media attention.

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    1. It was deleted because I'd rather like to leave negative comments out of my blog. But if you insist on giving your opinion, I think the general population would respect it more if it wasn't masked behind an "Anonymous" account. Seems a tad cowardly. But since deleting you won't stop you from coming back then I suppose I'll leave your comment for everyone to see and make their own judgement call on. Thanks!

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    2. HOMIE'S AN IDIOT. I love Meg.

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  8. Haha this is the best. You're the cutest Megan!

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  9. It's kind of funny how people have to respond to this as you being "cute," when everything your saying is 100% true, and in my opinion quite serious. You've recognized a huge pressure that social media presents, which I think women feel the most. Pressure to be thin, glamorous, sexy. Clearly you're a beautiful woman and like all women, we do what we need to feel confidant. This post is a refreshing reminder to keep all subjective labels in perspective, because so often they are misleading.

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  10. Great post and so truthful! I am one of those "stalkers" and now I admire you even more! ;)
    Now can I ask where did you get the fake hair? and btw you're pretty with or without the "beauty enhancements"

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    1. You're so sweet, and I love stalkers! I actually got them at Sally Beauty Supply. 22" and I just sewed on the clips myself, super easy! and you can always dye them to match your hair if they don't match straight from the package. You're so nice, thanks for sharing!

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  11. Hahaha! This is probably the best blog post I've read! Thank you for being real and for being you!

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  12. this is the best...adore every word and agree!!
    XOXOXO

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  13. I commend you for your willingness to reveal your "enhancements". It's safe to say *most girls use enhancements. Said enhancements aren't a bad thing but it is good to see some people are willing to reveal their true self. Too often people, both girls and guys, get so caught up in the fake or altered parts of their life that they start to believe it is reality.
    I wish more people truly knew me and I wish I truly knew more people. Unfortunately it's just something that happens naturally, you can't force it.

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